Sorry, Savannah, sorry, Bethany, you will not be at the mall drapped over some guy with all your body parts hanging out. You will not be in the movies with a guy, just the two of you. You will not be at a party unless I've talked to the parents and we have agreed on rules. You will have to come home everyday to me here, waiting for you, to bug you about how your day was, get you a snack, and then 'pick your brain' while you eat. You will get to date. Your dad. My dad. I will go to the mall with you to be with you and even to carry the ATM card in case you see a super-cute outfit that is also mom-approved. You'll get to go to Homecoming and Prom with a group of kids and a boy who picks you up with the group and who all know your dad and I (and who know what your dad does for a living). Trust me on this, you will have much more fun going with a group anyway! I'm sorry, but you must get good grades or be grounded. You must help around the house or be grounded. You won't get paid to do any of these things, though, because you live here and must contribute to our home. If you need money for something you can ask us, if the above criteria are met, and it's not extravagant, it's yours. Want something extravagant? Ask for extra jobs to do. Save up. Tithe some to church. Your dad and I will pay half. I'm sorry, also, but your Sunday mornings are booked as long as you live here. You will be in church. Every Sunday. You must speak with respect to Dad and I and every other adult or be grounded. What can we ground you from you ask? Well, what have you got? The computer, the TV, music, your car, events and activities. I think you get the idea. Girls, we're so sorry to be so hard on you and give you such a difficult existence because the above life does sound soo bad, I mean "none of your peers has to live like this". Remember, we love you and anyway, when you grow up you can take it out on our grandchildren and be just as tough on them (we pray). Love, Mom and Dad
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Well, I just have the best readers in all of 'blogland'! I have had so many comments, calls and concerns from all of you! My Peeps are the best! I guess my last two blogs made many of you worry about me and the family. I am happy to report to you today that ("yippee, hip hip hooray and praise God") Bethany slept through the night last night!!!! I feel like a new woman!! Sleep is wonderful! I think she's just been getting over this really bad cold that all of us caught and she just couldn't get her sleep pattern back to normal. But we do have an appointment with the pediatrician to have her checked just so we don't miss anything. So, needless to say, I am recalling my nanny ad and am once again fired up and grateful about raising my girls myself. No nanny, child care, 'learning environment' needed here, thank you very much. I have always felt that if we have children, they are ours to raise and the job belongs to mom and dad and mom and dad alone. Now, I understand that some moms have no choice but to work, say, for financial struggles but Hubby and I got all of that in order before having kids so I could be home with them. I will never sacrifice my girls so I can feel "more fulfilled" as a woman or so we can have this new car, those designer clothes, etc. I even heard someone say that them working with kids home made them a better mother! Hmm, ok. The minute I looked into Savannah's eyes I was hooked anyway so there was so use in fighting it! Not to say I will never work again, but not with them still home. Yep, that means I believe they still need me even when they're in high school! Ok, maybe even more so! They just don't know it! They need to not have time alone to themselves with no one home (yep, a recipe for disaster...teens home alone, yep, even if you think you can trust them, they have too much freedom!) Don't get me wrong, I think they can be home alone sometimes but to be home alone everyday for a few hours each day is just too tempting for them. This mama was a teen once and will not have her head in the sand. And since I'm on my soapbox about parenting, let me just say that dating is going to be sooo monitored in this house! Let me ask you this, what is the purpose of dating? That's right, to find a spouse. Well, my 15, 16, or even 17 year old doesn't need to be looking for a spouse! I think going out with a group of people at those ages are fine, but not one-on-one dating. I can just hear my girls now, "but mom, don't you trust us?" Uh, no. I'm not supposed to trust you, I'm suppossed to protect you. Even if it's from yourselves. I owe this to them. I see so many parents today who are so concerned with being their kids' friend. Oh, go get friends your own age and be your child's parent! That is what is suppossed to be happening. It's probably what's wrong with our society today; at least one of the problems. And now, to explain all of this in a letter to our children:
Monday, January 4, 2010
Help. I'm taking any and all advice on how to get a strong-willed 19 month old back into a healthy sleep pattern. Or, at the very least, I'm placing an add for a nighttime nanny. I would just need this said nanny to get up with said 19 month old in the night, create in said child a good sleep routine and then leave in the morning once I am up and preferably dressed with a minimalist amount of makeup on, a brush run through my hair and my teeth brushed. Isn't it supposed to get easier once they get passed infanthood? Savannah slept well right a way and was sleeping through the night at two months of age, never to go back to waking again. Bethany on the other hand, can't slow down long enough to let herself think about sleep. She is a big 'creature of habit' who will sleep well only in her bed (there goes vacation, but we do try) and once her routine has been disturbed she has a hard time getting back to normal.
She is a joy and just to hear her say, "Mama" melts my heart. She is just our adventure. Savannah has been an adventure also but just in such a different way. But this sleep thing is a huge struggle. As an infant, I was up with Bethany literally every two hours. I thought I would loose my mind sometimes. My best-girlfriend stayed over one night and asked what she could do. Yep. I asked her to take the baby for one night. I would've paid good money to get a good night's sleep. There were times I found myself reasoning with her, "Please, Bethany, go to sleep, Mama will let you try that cereal stuff again. We can even let you lick a popsicle. You know, honey, in the military sleep deprivation is considered torture. You could be arrested for this."
Alas, we lived and I know we will live through this. But I'm sooo tired. My diet has suffered, my figure has suffered, my house constantly suffers. Everyone who knew me BB (before Bethany) knows I don't do well with chaos! Maybe that's why the Lord gave her to us! Be careful what you pray for!! Ha ha! Ok, that laugh sounded a little sinister, a little like the Joker, I'm going to bed.
PS, I am serious about the advice (and shh, maybe even about the nanny).
Let me give you a rundown of my night last night. 8pm: put Bethany to bed (she's still getting over a cold but is doing better), helped Savannah with some spelling, Savannah went ot bed,
TV-magazine and a cup of tea to myself, so I thought! 10pm: Bethany awake screaming, put her into bed with me (she's now fussing in my bed and not going to sleep), Daddy is at work. 1am: still up with Bethany but decide to put her in her bed anyway. 1:01am: listening to Bethany cry. 1:30am: silence finally. 3:30am: Bethany is crying again. Let her cry it out so she gets the point that she can't sleep with us whenever she wants. 4am: all's quiet. 6:30am: my alarm goes off and I drag my tired bones out of bed to face this day. 7:15am: decide I'd better write a blog or you all will just give up on me. 7:25am: I'd better hurry...Bethany's awake.
We're just here trying to get back to normal after the holidays. Hope it's going better for all of you!